I'd like to go on record to state that as far as I know, I am reasonably certain that I am not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's kid. Further, no matter what the breathless female announcer on one of the news channels mentioned, I feel safe in announcing that neither is Howard K. "SMITH". However, with deference to and some embarrassment for her husband's sake, I feel compelled to confess that there was a time, many, many years ago, that I think I may have had a dalliance with Zsa Zsa Gabor. Liquor was involved.

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